Amour et Perte
by MandaPanda2
Summary: Jed's thoughts on love and loss during a speech.


_Amour et Perte_ by MandaPanda2  
  
Rating: PG-13  
Characters: Jed, Abbey  
Setting: semi AU but a teeny, tiny spoiler for "The Portland Trip"  
Genre: Romance but extremely angsty....Just to give fair warning.  
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, NBC, JWP, et al.  
  
(Note-The title means "Love and Loss"....I just thought it sounded more dramatic in a foreign language..grin)  
  
He ascends the podium and prepares to give his speech to the assembled audience. He pauses before commencing and allows his eyes to drift over the crowd. To those in the audience, it just looks as if their speaker is gathering his last minute thoughts...he really is seeking out her.  
  
He breathes an internal sigh of relief when their eyes finally meet. She gives him a small but encouraging smile.  
  
He begins to talk and attempts to look around the room at the gathering. He keeps finding himself drawn to back to her. It's as if they are alone in the room and he is talking to her...and only her.  
  
Their eyes are locked. He feels that his facial expression may give away the intense longing that he has for her. He forces his eyes away from hers and focuses on the podium while increasing his grip on it.  
  
He looks back up and finds himself again drawn to those eyes....that face....that body....that woman.  
  
His thoughts begin to drift back in time but the trip down memory lane doesn't hinder his speech. He remembers all occasions were he witnessed the absolute best of her.  
  
Marriage: How lovely she looked that day. How lovely and incredibly sensual she looked that day. As she began to walk down the aisle towards him, he felt his knees go weak just at the sight of her. He found himself stumbling over his words as he recited the sacred vows. Her voice was chalked with emotion and her eyes overflowing with tears of joy as she repeated the vows.  
  
Baptism: He recalled how the small cherub slept soundly in her arms. He helped her position the baby over the baptismal font. As the water gently grazed the fontanel, he looked up at her. But she was looking down at the baby with an expression of such love and tenderness that his heart flipped.  
  
Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve: The comforting smell of pine and incense was in the air. The church was enveloped in a cozy warmth given off by candles and the sheer amount of people in the pews. She is pregnant again and has never looked more beautiful. He figures she is in the "honeymoon" phase of pregnancy. Her figure is round and curvy, just the way he likes it. She has this serene aura surrounding her that he finds himself addicted to.  
  
He yanks himself out his memories.  
  
His speech is over and he is met with a lavish round of applause. He nods graciously as etiquette requires him to do.  
  
He leaves the stage area, signaling the end of the affair. The clapping begins to die down as the audience begins to rise and leave.  
  
He sees her on the opposite end of the room and begins to make his way over to her, but is stopped by members of the audience, eager to tell him how much they enjoyed his speech.  
  
He thanks them graciously and endures numerous handshakes, pats-on-the-back and kisses-on-the-cheek as he makes his way across the room to her.  
  
Finally, he reaches her.  
  
She leans in to give him a peck on the cheek.  
  
"I enjoyed your address to the congregation today Father Josiah," she says.  
  
Oh, how he wishes she didn't have to call him "father"!  
  
"Abbey," he begins,"we went to school together. You can call me 'Jed'."  
  
She smiles. He feels his heart begin to melt.  
  
"Maybe," she replies.  
  
_Or maybe not_, he thinks to himself recalling that they have been having this conversation for the past twenty years.  
  
He finds himself distracted as another person approaches him to sing the praises of his speech. When he turns around again, she is gone.  
  
His heart cracks.  
  
He stands rooted in his spot with a dazed expression on his face. It is like this all the time.  
  
He wildly searches the room and sees her walking away, towards the door.  
  
_Don't go!_, he screams in his mind.  
  
Her husband is waiting for her. He gallantly helps her on with her coat. They link arms and walk out of the church.  
  
He wishes it were him that got to link arms with her.  
  
_The End._


End file.
